Body Image and Eating Disorders

[Liz]

Why do you think eating disorders are so prevalent in developed countries? Do you think they are common in third world and developing countries also, perhaps just not as publicized?
What do you think of the publicity of eating disorders? Of Pro-Anorexia movements? Does someone with an eating disorder have a right to commit suicide by malnutrition?

Yeah lots of questions but I don't feel like writing some big long thought out thing... yet.

[implode]

let's talk about something else. how many milkmen do you think it would take to fell a 20 story tall chocolate chip cookie*?

*note: the chocolate chip cookie is mobile and the milkmen can only bring weapons that a milkman could realistically afford.

<small>i'll think about it on my walk.</small>

[MST3Kakalina]

i know in a lot of developing countries, the older women will FORCE the younger women to eat and gain weight, so they can attract a decent husband.

the "pro ana" and suchlike that i see in places like LiveJournal is just...superfreaky. i don't get it. you can't NOT know that doing stuff like that is damaging to your body. and i mean, of course you have the "right" to eat or not eat or whatever. but still.

body image is a weird thing. i do think that getting a good lay or two helps. because seriously. knowing that someone found you attractive enough to bone is like losing 40 pounds and getting a boob job.

[Liz]

i know in a lot of developing countries, the older women will FORCE the younger women to eat and gain weight, so they can attract a decent husband.

the "pro ana" and suchlike that i see in places like LiveJournal is just...superfreaky. i don't get it. you can't NOT know that doing stuff like that is damaging to your body. and i mean, of course you have the "right" to eat or not eat or whatever. but still.

body image is a weird thing. i do think that getting a good lay or two helps. because seriously. knowing that someone found you attractive enough to bone is like losing 40 pounds and getting a boob job.

Haha. I totally agree with the last part. I used to hate being naked so much I'd even rush my showers. Now I'm like, fuck it, SOMEBODY likes it, it must be okay.

I think it's faddish for girls to want to be a victim, emcatiated mentally as well as physically. Look at all the trends towards depression and self injury. Anorexia is just part of that image I think. I guess we're just very lost as a society.

I mean, I can't exactly stand from a critic's standpoint in the subject....

[Vile]

*sigh*

More later.

[MST3Kakalina]

is it really faddish, though? we always have these images of girls needing to be rescued. it's kind of...standard. i don't know if the "popularity" of eating and mental disorders is a DIRECT result of that, but being a victim isn't a new trend.

i'm sure in later years, eating disorders will be thought of in the same way as footbinding or corsets: strange things women did to meet contemporary standards of beauty.

[Rory Storm]

The reason it occurs so much in developed areas is because of advertising. You see rail thin, bony bitches on posters in thongs and string bikins all day, you will think that it what everyone is looking for. Being a guy, I see this all the time, girls talking about this and that about how they look blah blah... I don't like extreamly skinny girls, it's like...skeletal or something. <s>I like it when girls care to a certain extent about how they look.</s> I mean if I ever get a girl friend she would fit that sort of criteria.
As for me, a guy, body image doesn't present as a factor to me, but because I'm super fat and somewhat ugly, I don't wear shirts that feel to tight and stuff. When I go out I make sure I have at least two shirts on even in the hottest of weather, and dark colors. I know I'm not a sexy hunk-a-man and no woman in their right mind would want to be seen with me unless I am at work and they graciously talk to me, but I don't go home and cry about it, instead, usually except for now, I keep the feeling inside. Honestly, though, I don't really care. I could loose some weight, but I don't feel like it right now. I know how much more different it is for girls because I see it all the time with my sister and her friends at her dance group thing. They are always making fun of other people and I tell her when she is in the car that what she does is mean and cruel, she just rolls her eyes. I know how tough it can be, being picked on and whatnot. I have been getting over the whole "FATASS WHATHAVE YOU COMMENTS" and reply with some sort of remark that I know, deep down inside will hurt them. Such as this one time, when I had longer hair, it was me, several friends, and there were some punk little freshmen sitting at our table in study hall at school. One of the punk kids goes, "Are you a girl or a boy?" I respond,"A boy, what a silly and rude question to ask." So he goes, "Oh you look like Cartman." Me"Who?(I knew perfectly well who)" "That cartoon character, from South Park, dumb fuck." I then tilted my head for a few seconds and looked at him with a pondering look and said "Have you broken your nose? It's a bit crooked on your face. You seem to need surgery because the defect is quite glaring." Then my friends made some more fun of him, but he never really said anything after that. My point here is that everyone has problems and to point them out to a person who may already know about is mean and stupid, especially in a rude way. But when you can do it back, you get even, and that, friends, is what life is all about.

[Vile]

Alright, I'm ready to answer this.

You all know it. You know what's worng with me. Fuck victimization for a moment. Ignore it. It isn't here, it's in santa maria. Gone.

I hate myself. Not myself, but my body. My "soul capsule". I loathe it. I even almost hate Zach for loving it the way he does. In a sexual sense and otherwise. When I look in the mirror I feel sick. I see gobs of fat dripping off of me, all loose and baggy skin. There is no way to describe to someone with out the problem what it looks like.

All of my friends are about ten pounds lighter than I am. Hannah at 100 and Julie at.. well, fucking 85. Never mind. Scratch that. I hang aroud with toothpicks. They never stop eating.

First, when I was thirteen I became anorexic. That worked, and I dropped twenty pounds because of it. Then I met Zach and promptly quit. I gained back about five, but its remained at that number. Ok. Breathe.

So, about a month after I met Zach I started making myself throw up to lose weight. I told lots of people because I knew no one had the balls to tell my parents. It was actually tater who inspired me to get help. I still do it sometimes, and my therapist always changes the subject. I hate him. He looks like a diglett.

Anyway, That went on for a while but I hated it. Paradox and Badman mocked me. Zach cut himself and cried. I still hated myself, I wasn't losing weight. It was pretty sad.

It's a dangerous thing I'm doing. I'm thinking about starting fasting... I've been reading pro-ana sites. I know it's wrong. But I hate what I am.

Hell, that's the whole reason I'm a cam whore. I hate myself SO MUCH that when one person calls me pretty it lights up my whole day. bah. But you guys have only ever seen the head, not the body.

I wish I knew where this post was going, but as I think, I type. Welcome to insideoferin'sheadland. Sometimes I look through magazines at the models and then I go throw up. It helps me gag thinking of how much prettier they are.

The reason why I flirt with other guys is because I want to be seen as desirable.

It isn't that I'm shallow. I don't think I am. I just think I need help; which I do.

I forget what I was going to post in the first place. I think I might quit rwam until I lose the weight. Sometimes I try to "motivate" myself. Punishment (cutting when I gain) or reward (a candy bar if I lose a pound)

The last thing I want is sympathy. Hell, ignore this if you want. I don't even know if I should post this.


I'm just scared.

[exemplary citizen]

EEEEEEEEE. Eeeerin.

*huggle*

[Vile]

<small> _{please. No more attention. No more love. You're feeding the beast. You're giving it what it wants. I'm such a fucking tool.}</small>

[Liz]

Alright, I'm ready to answer this.

You all know it. You know what's worng with me. Fuck victimization for a moment. Ignore it. It isn't here, it's in santa maria. Gone.

I hate myself. Not myself, but my body. My "soul capsule". I loathe it. I even almost hate Zach for loving it the way he does. In a sexual sense and otherwise. When I look in the mirror I feel sick. I see gobs of fat dripping off of me, all loose and baggy skin. There is no way to describe to someone with out the problem what it looks like.

Yeah. You don't just look in the mirror and see yourself, you look in the mirror and see all your flaws. I mean, I guess that's normal to an extent. But for me it has been to the point that I can't stand being around mirrors because I hate how I look, all I see is folds of fat... and yet at the same time, the mirrors are captivating. It's like an addiction. I need to see every crease in my skin where I could lose weight, and I want to look away in disgust but I can't.


All of my friends are about ten pounds lighter than I am. Hannah at 100 and Julie at.. well, fucking 85. Never mind. Scratch that. I hang aroud with toothpicks. They never stop eating.

First, when I was thirteen I became anorexic. That worked, and I dropped twenty pounds because of it. Then I met Zach and promptly quit. I gained back about five, but its remained at that number. Ok. Breathe.

So, about a month after I met Zach I started making myself throw up to lose weight. I told lots of people because I knew no one had the balls to tell my parents. It was actually tater who inspired me to get help. I still do it sometimes, and my therapist always changes the subject. I hate him. He looks like a diglett.

I haven't brought it up with my therapist, really, because I feel like he wouldn't understand. He is one of those high metabolism ADHD people who needs to eat like 50000000 calories a day not to lose weight. Plus, I don't think it is really a big enough of an issue to bring up. I'm kind of scared to bring it up. I don't want to blow it out of proportion.

I've still never thrown up intentionally, although like the only reason I take my stimulants is so I don't eat, and I drink lots of coffee so I can shit a lot.


Anyway, That went on for a while but I hated it. Paradox and Badman mocked me. Zach cut himself and cried. I still hated myself, I wasn't losing weight. It was pretty sad.

It's a dangerous thing I'm doing. I'm thinking about starting fasting... I've been reading pro-ana sites. I know it's wrong. But I hate what I am.

Pro-Ana sites are really triggery. But they're alluring at the same time. I used to go on them a few years back. I don't know what to make of them. I think it is really sad when anorexic girls brag about their deficiancies and health problems that are the result of anorexia.... everyone trying to outweigh the other. It's pathetic but I can see myself in that situation, doing the same thing.

Hell, that's the whole reason I'm a cam whore. I hate myself SO MUCH that when one person calls me pretty it lights up my whole day. bah. But you guys have only ever seen the head, not the body.

I agree. I am not arrogant because arrogant people wouldn't need other people's approval, they don't need compliments. I think we are just very self-focused, albeit negatively. And so, our art and photography reflects ourselves, oftentimes directly. No shame in it. I hope it's something to grow out of, though.


The reason why I flirt with other guys is because I want to be seen as desirable.

I think every girl does that to an extent. But again, it's to what extent.


It isn't that I'm shallow. I don't think I am. I just think I need help; which I do.

I forget what I was going to post in the first place. I think I might quit rwam until I lose the weight. Sometimes I try to "motivate" myself. Punishment (cutting when I gain) or reward (a candy bar if I lose a pound)

I've done that too. Cutting myself for eating. :(



The last thing I want is sympathy. Hell, ignore this if you want. I don't even know if I should post this.


I'm just scared.

Yeah, the last thing I want this to be is some pro ana thread, or some kind of group therapy thing, but I do care about you and I think I can relate to what you are going through. And it sucks. I hate it and love it at the same time. It's all pretty sick though.

[Rory Storm]

Vile, you want to see gobs of fat? I have PLENTY. I will show. To make a point.

All you skinny people out there...look out.

[Liz]

Ehehe.
For some reason, other people's fat doesn't bother me.

Hell, I woul perform fellatio on your fat.

[Vile]

I'm just afraid I'll find blood in my vomit and then I'll have to go to my parents and tell them. An ulcer sounds...

Fuck. I can't believe this is even me. Looking at it rationally- This is fucking crazy. *laughs* you know? It is?

Sometimes I whip myself with a belt across the back for gaining an inch.

[Rory Storm]

I have man tits, I'm so fat. Yet do I loose the weight? Hell no. What if I get cancer and need that fat to replenish what my body is losing?

[Liz]

I know you step back and it's like whoa wtf is happening. Then you fall back into it.

With a belt? That sounds painful. I haven't cut in months but I have freaky scars.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v464/Cassie_Liz/tulle5.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
Legs :(


Rory, just take out all your fat and keep it in the cellar.

I've thought of doing at-home liposuction. I've also though of cutting off strips of skin on my neck and sewing it shut with fishing line. At home necklift! I am kind of fucked up sometimes. I feel very vain.

[RCCC]

I'm just afraid I'll find blood in my vomit and then I'll have to go to my parents and tell them. An ulcer sounds...

Fuck. I can't believe this is even me. Looking at it rationally- This is fucking crazy. *laughs* you know? It is?

Sometimes I whip myself with a belt across the back for gaining an inch.
hmmmm, I used to have that problem, I destroyed my asophagus and stomach from all the stomach acids, it is just now starting to fully recover.

[Vile]

I take a studded belt and slash my back up. Turn music up loud so no one can hear me scream.

Once I even got Zach to hit me. He did.

then cried about it. It was a bad idea to begin with because my head almost hit a window.

[Liz]

I've never screamed when cutting or anything. I don't know. I get in these weird detached moods where I'm invincible. and my thinking gets really really weird. I feel like it was somebody else. Like once I cut up my leg and mashed it against the wall, and it looked like aliens to me somehow so I wrote "homo sapiens" below it in my blood and drew a jesus fish. I had to paint over it because it stained. Yeah.... I really don't get my own reasoning sometimes. It's almost trancelike.

I have some nasty, bubbly round scars from burning with matches, too. It's crazy.

WHoopssss... I think i got a bit off topic. Well, Anorexia is a form of self injury ,isn't it?

In terms of having someone else beat you, etc.... in a way I would enjoy it, but in this sick way, not in a sexual way. I mean it's not something I would get off sexually to, but I'd get off in some other way to it.

[Rory Storm]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v697/RoryStorm/DSC03598.jpg :(fatass.

[Vile]

I also used to bruise myself, but stopped because I was afraid of blood clots. I used to beat my legs black and blue in gym class with a tennis racket. People kept asking if Zach was abusing me.

[Liz]

awww.

People used to think my parents were burning me with cigarettes when I had burn marks.

Rory, you're not that big.

[Vile]

If I knew him in real life, I'd go out with him. He isn't too bad.

[Rory Storm]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v697/RoryStorm/DSC03599.jpg


:(fatass.

[Liz]

bah humbug. You are roly poly in a cute way.

Okay, I wouldn't fuck you, but I'd chill with you anytime.

[MST3Kakalina]

no fears Rory.


if i can get laid, you can too.

[Vile]

Can I have your gum? It raises metabolism 30%

[Rory Storm]

NO.
I have super slow metabolism.

It's not so much I want to get laid...or whatever...I just don't care for company of people all that much.

I have described my fear of being touched, hugged, kissed, whatever, so I don't care much for sex. I also don't care much about my appearence. Or something. I like however acts so nice:).

[Liz]

I used to hate physical contact too. Then my hypersensitivity to it went from discomfort to like, addiction.

*touchtouchtouch* Just because I know it pisses you off. Hahahehe.

[Vile]

I like when people rub my back. It feels good.

[Vile]

Shit. Did I kill it already?

[töm]

Why do you think eating disorders are so prevalent in developed countries? Do you think they are common in third world and developing countries also, perhaps just not as publicized?
What do you think of the publicity of eating disorders? Of Pro-Anorexia movements? Does someone with an eating disorder have a right to commit suicide by malnutrition?

Yeah lots of questions but I don't feel like writing some big long thought out thing... yet.things like this just make me feel so sad. :( in my experience, so many awesome, beautiful people who shouldn't have a care in the world have to put up with this shit. it's just tragic to me. and i know i could never understand it, and that doesn't help. i've considered becoming a psychologist so that i could perhaps be able to help some people, but i have only met negativity in that area from people who have tried to been "helped." not to mention that being around such negativity every day would probably drive ME mad. it must be a harsh job, and my numerous hats are off to the people that are in that line of work...

as for the other things... i don't know. :C it's just something that shouldn't exist in this world.

[Vile]

Hi :(

[implode]

hello, thread.

it all started as a little idea. if you have the ability and the desire to alter something, and it's in your best interest, why not, right? of course, it doesn't matter if the methods you've chosen aren't in your best interest, or if the eventual result will not be in your best interest, because your "best interest" is simply the interest you like best. it doesn't matter why you like it best, even though that's the question. it's not as simple as simply identifying the desire and altering it - if it were, your brain would as mallible as a taffy and we'd all be level 42 psychologists DM's. the fact that the desire is there is enough to cause all the trouble you need, and all the lectures and the care and the wonderful compliments you receive on the way do very little else besides reminding you that you're in trouble in the first place.

and it spirals and you deteriorate and every part of you that used to matter more than this silly monster deteriorates with it, and it's okay, as long as the prime directive is achieved you can work on it later. it all takes a back seat - all these physical necessities take a back seat to a simple glorified mental desire. and since you can't escape your brain, ever, you're never in a position to see a reality where this isn't okay.

but people get through it. one way or another. people live on happily ever after while slipping through the occasional storm drain or people collapse on the floor of their workplace. the trick, as i see it, anyway, is to put other people before yourself in the final scope. even if you're doing nothing but caring about yourself, you always have to realize that there's no reason to even do that if you don't care more about the people who care about <i>you.</i> and so no matter how desperate your desire, you cannot allow yourself to let it spiral into a situation where those people will lose you to your own hand. then you really <i>have</i> wasted your life.

more on the technical aspects after i cut my hair. maybe. if i'm not supersleepy.

[steffi]

if it makes you guys feel better, I'll probably develop massive stomach problems, and I generally have a hard time finding food I can eat because of my high metabolism. :o

that doesn't, does it? :(

[Vile]

That makes us hate ourselves more, thanks.

[steffi]

damn. sorry. I love you?

[Vile]

You know I love you too. More than anything, all you guys.
It isn't your fault you're amazing.

[Young Jeff Bridges]

vile, you're just as amazing as anyone else. each and every person has their faults, each and every person has their virtues. each and every person is perfect according to someone, and each and every person should root their confidence completely in their someone.

you are perfect to someone, erin. you shouldn't fight it.

[MST3Kakalina]

each and every person is perfect according to someone


quoted for truth.


though i disagree about basing confidence in someone else because i don't think that's healthy BUT.


you're spot on with that. and i think that should be enough to make ANYONE uncontrollably happy.

[Awesome McManly]

The reason why I flirt with other guys is because I want to be seen as desirable.

I think every girl does that to an extent. But again, it's to what extent.

Just girls? Guys do it too. I think its part of that girls like competition thing. If other girls flirt with you, the girl you like might like you better. It's stupid, but sometimes it works.

I’ve got the opposite problem though. I look in the mirror, and just see a skeleton. No matter how much muscle I put on. I weigh ten pounds more than I ever have before, and yet I still look small and fragile when I look at my self in the mirror, I feel like I look like that guy from the machinist.

[MST3Kakalina]

you're a fine-lookin' man, JT. you also bear a striking and kinda creepy resemblance to one of Mecha's friends. someday i shall post a picture.

and all girls do the flirting thing. i kinda do (being that social retardation makes flirting a bit...different for me) and i feel sorta crappy about it, but well. i know i would never stand a chance with anyone anyway, and i have my Mecha, which is more than enough for me. :)

[Awesome McManly]

awwww, thanks Koba. :D

you didn't seem socially retarded last summer, when I met you.

you need to give yourself more credit.

[Young Jeff Bridges]

quoted for truth.


though i disagree about basing confidence in someone else because i don't think that's healthy BUT.


you're spot on with that. and i think that should be enough to make ANYONE uncontrollably happy.

well, i don't think you should root your entire confidence in someone else, but you know. i think it would really help if you did at least in some way. but if you're with that one, and you know you're only going to be with that one, i don't think it's necessarily unhealthy.

[exemplary citizen]

you didn't seem socially retarded last summer, when I met you.
Yeah, no kidding. I didn't notice a single odd thing about your behavior when we met up over christmas. Whatchu talkin' bout?

[implode]

but if you're with that one, and you know you're only going to be with that one, i don't think it's necessarily unhealthy. oh god. :(

it is. be very careful, jon. this is one of those things you just can't <i>know.</i> no matter how much you want to/need to, you can only be confident of your own feelings, and even then, it's still a toss up. just... be careful.

[Takker]

mmm, I've been hovering between 170-180 lbs for a while now. I try to diet sometimes, but I always seem to just sorta...fall out of it. I love to eat, and I love eating big portions of foods that I like. my biggest problem with diets is sticking to eating in moderation. not only that, but I hate excersizing. I would much rather be drawing, reading, or playing on the computer. I think I might have only been majorly dissappointed with myself once, otherwise, it's just kind of an annoyance that I have no will power to change, and if I do, it doesn't last long, because there's always gonna be my favorite dinner on the table, or that last cup of ramen in the cabinate. see, I'm heavy, but not obese. I can still mostly fit easilly into most jeans my size, as long as they're not low rise, and shirts are no real problem. I really only have trouble with my thighs, as it makes buying jeans a bit difficult. not to mention that it makes me look bad in a bathing suit, but that is easilly remidied with a pair of shorts over the suit. I'd like to lose weight, but I can never seem to stick to it. I guess once I'm back in school, it'll be easier, since I won't eat all day long. besides, we have gym. meh, I'm done

[MST3Kakalina]

oh god. :(

it is. be very careful, jon. this is one of those things you just can't <i>know.</i> no matter how much you want to/need to, you can only be confident of your own feelings, and even then, it's still a toss up. just... be careful.
yeah. yeah. i hate to be a negative nancy here, but that's seriously not something you can know. especially at your/our age.


and i'm not socially retarded around YOU guys. it's around "normal" people that i don't know what to do. besides, my retardedness doesn't make me awkward, it just makes me really...withdrawn. most of the awkwardness is internal, where i think "okay, what the hell do i say? where do i look? should i make eye contact? should i say something to fill the silence?" being a tour guide has kind of weaned me off of not interacting with people, but still. social interaction is really draining on me unless i'm totally comfortable with the people. and i'm totally comfortable with you guys. :<3:


PS Takker you carry weight well. i guess that sounds really awkward, but i mean you don't look like you weigh 170.

i'm a little butterball, though.

[exemplary citizen]

You are not, chut up. :(


I wish I could get my stomach straightened out so that I could stop losing random weight and gaining it back in the span of a month. That's pretty irritating. I'm tired of food making me sick all the time.

[MST3Kakalina]

go back to china, bitch!

Ami, did you know that Ikea is actually freakishly popular in Sweden? like it's not some weird thing that's marketed heavily over here because Americans will buy anything. like, all of Jan's plates and kitchen stuff and his bed came from Ikea. it weirded me out. the same was true for all of his friends/family we visited.

if food made me sick all the time, i'd be a saaaaad panda.


edit: OMG palindrome post!!11! 16561!!!!!11!!1

[deadish]

ah. eh. ee. arr.
i want to say things but then i don't.

[Liz]

doooooooo ittttttttttttttt

[Takker]

PS Takker you carry weight well. i guess that sounds really awkward, but i mean you don't look like you weigh 170.

i'm a little butterball, though.dawww, thank you. I get what you're saying. as for you, I don't think I've seen a recent picture of you, so I wouldn't know anything. <small>but butterball makes it sound so cuuuute</small> I doubt you're fat though. See, it seems a lot of the moosers here SAY they're fat (vile and liz come to mind) when in all actuality, they're skinny twigs, and very pretty, might I add. I'm sure you're the same.

[deadish]

see.. see.. sbjgg.
there's 100 pounds.. (http://www.angeltowns.net/membercenter/100/deadish/webcam/eeps2.jpg)
there's 240.. (http://www.angeltowns.net/membercenter/100/deadish/webcam/fathead.jpg)

now i've lost a bit again.. and i feel like gigantor. but the INSANE thing. when i was 100 pounds. dehydrated. fleshless. dying. unable to sit on chairs without at least five pillows under me. i would look at myself in the mirror and think "AGH. lookit that FAT there. **pokelooseskin**"
i've always always always had severe image problems. during prepubescence i was 200 pounds overweight. so that just burned into my skull that i was fatty mcfatterson forever. not to mention that it covered me solidly from shoulders to knees in stretch marks like scars. not to mention the scars i made all over my arms and chest and ankles.
and though my later anorexia was mostly caused by illness i really liked that i wasn't eating. i would just drink soda and by the end i was only eating like three boiled eggs a week. which i thought was NEAT wow not eating yay. my eyes were sunken in my skull and my clavicles were protruding painfully from my chest and i still thought i was slobby-fat.

so. uh. sgrlnkjkdnd. i've done it all. and now.. i dunno. i've actually been thinking lately that i am comfortable with my body(though i don't want to show it to anyone at all ever and i am disgusted at my naked self). i would LOVE SO MUCH to weigh 140-50 again but that's a hundred pounds away and implausable. having diabetes totally sucks as i can't just not eat.. and i have a hard time controlling how my body will process what i eat. and. askegskrg. right now i'd say i have a problem with over-eating...

where was i going?

eh. i dunno.

say no to drugs.

[Retard Girl]

mmm, I've been hovering between 170-180 lbs for a while now. I try to diet sometimes, but I always seem to just sorta...fall out of it. I love to eat, and I love eating big portions of foods that I like. my biggest problem with diets is sticking to eating in moderation. not only that, but I hate excersizing. I would much rather be drawing, reading, or playing on the computer. I think I might have only been majorly dissappointed with myself once, otherwise, it's just kind of an annoyance that I have no will power to change, and if I do, it doesn't last long, because there's always gonna be my favorite dinner on the table, or that last cup of ramen in the cabinate. see, I'm heavy, but not obese. I can still mostly fit easilly into most jeans my size, as long as they're not low rise, and shirts are no real problem. I really only have trouble with my thighs, as it makes buying jeans a bit difficult. not to mention that it makes me look bad in a bathing suit, but that is easilly remidied with a pair of shorts over the suit. I'd like to lose weight, but I can never seem to stick to it. I guess once I'm back in school, it'll be easier, since I won't eat all day long. besides, we have gym. meh, I'm done

180 pound food lover here. Dude, I love food so much that I can't eat moderately. Well, I can, but I end up feeling really hungry anyway. Exercising is painful as well, although I can do some endurance things a lot better than I thought could. I don't have problems with my thighs, I wear boy pants most of the time. What really bugs me is my stomach. Only I don't want to feel like I've been punched in the stomach every single day and do fifty billion situps. I usually wear a shirt when I swim over my swimsuit. Plus, I hear stomach weight is a lot worse for you than thigh weight.

School has never helped me in my weight. Never. In fact, with all the crap they feed us, it's probably made it worse. I don't eat there anymore. I bring my own stuff or wait till I'm home to eat.

I think what Koba said earlier seems to be my state of mind for the moment, if a guy can stand seeing me naked and fuck me, then I'd probably aren't hideous and I could pretty much stop hating my body.

I have to be in fucking size 16/14 girl pants while my super skinny cousin with a magic metabolism fits into size 1.

And my grandfather is hinting to me to lose weight. And that's none of his fucking buisness.

I really wish I was a guy when it comes to these sort of things. Because guys don't seem to care as much. You can see a pretty girl date a fat guy, but you never see a fat girl date a pretty guy.

Never.

Plus, I have like small boobs which sucks. If I have to be fat, don't I at least deserve cleavage?

[Linzoy]

I weight 260 pounds. I win the grossness competition again.

I was a lot worse when I was a kid though. I could hardly walk. When I was a little kid I wasn't fat though, and I thought I was. Looking back, I was seriously just big boned. Then I gained a lot of weight. When I was 12 I joined weight watchers and lost a whole lot of weight. I didn't like it at first, but after trying other things I think weight watchers is the healthiest and easiest way to lose weight. But it keeps going up and down.

I don't love food. I'm a vegetarian and I try not to eat out so my options are already really limited. I'm just addicted. When I don't eat I get really irritable and stupid, it's like a withdrawel.

Also, it isn't really right to judge fatness by weight alone. When I was 180 I looked totally normal. It has to do with your body shape and stuff.

[Retard Girl]

Food is one of my favorite things out there.

Because it's like the one physical gratifacation I get. Sure sleep is nice, but I'd rather be doing something else.

If that makes any sense.

[Linzoy]

I like some food, I love indian food, candy, and some other stuff. But I just don't really enjoy the act of eating alone. Eating is more of a habit for me. At this moment I'm chewing a tissue.... I can hardly stand to go like a half hour without chewing on something.

[exemplary citizen]

during prepubescence i was 200 pounds overweight. so that just burned into my skull that i was fatty mcfatterson forever. not to mention that it covered me solidly from shoulders to knees in stretch marks like scars. Oh man. I've got nasty purple stretch marks all over from puberty. I was a fatty bombalatty when I was a kid. It's always shocking to me when I see somebody who came out of that with none of those at all; seems like nearly everybody gets those from that "filling out" stage (well, girls anyway).

[Linzoy]

Recently I've been getting a lot of stretch marks on one side of my stomach, but none on the other. Does anyone know if that's normal?

[Retard Girl]

It doesn't sound strange to me.

[Linzoy]

To me it seems that unless my belly was uneven for some reason, I should be getting stretch marks on both sides or none at all. I'm not all that worried though, the marks aren't going to kill me.you're a fine-lookin' man, JT. you also bear a striking and kinda creepy resemblance to one of Mecha's friends. someday i shall post a picture.

and all girls do the flirting thing. i kinda do (being that social retardation makes flirting a bit...different for me) and i feel sorta crappy about it, but well. i know i would never stand a chance with anyone anyway, and i have my Mecha, which is more than enough for me. :)
I missed this before since I barely read the thread. I've never really flirted. I'm not claiming moral superiority or anything, I'm just not that romantic. Maybe I'm actually a lesbian or something.

[MST3Kakalina]

ehh. i have more on one side than the other. so i guess we'll die together, or something.

I HAVE STRETCH MARKS EVERYWHERE. everywhere. my boobs, my belly, my arms...gah. my arms are the worst. they go halfway down to my elbow. i won't even wear tank tops anymore, unless i have a longsleeved shirt on top. not since when i was with two of my friends in a tank top and one of them pointed to a stretch mark on my arm and was like, "what's that on your arm?"

i told her it was a scar. :(


so. anyway. i think it's weird to note that so many people with eating disorders aren't even fat to begin with. much as i hate my body sometimes (granted, a lot less now than before) i would never consider such a thing. i tried cutting out junkfood and eating more healthily, but never....not eating at all.

also, it kinda sucks being short AND fat. because when you're taller and fat, it tends to proportion out better (i think) and you DON'T RUIN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DAMN PANTS AND SKIRTS BECAUSE IF YOU WEAR A SIZE 16 YOU MUST BE LIKE A MILLION FEET TALL OR SOMETHING GARRR.

[Linzoy]

I used to have really bad arm stretch marks like that, but they're almost gone now. I can only see them by looking really close. My arms where really weak but the stretch marks disapeared after I started lifting weights. I think I've probably had stretch marks on all parts of my body at some point.

Also eating healthy sucks. From what I know it works better just to eat less. I don't know if anyone should listen to me though, I have no long term sucsess.

[Takker]

eating healthy is a better alternative to eating fatty crap, but it is a lot less gratifying. eating healthy foods like fruit or yogurt NEVER satisfies me, and it is only when I pick up a bag of chips or something that I feel fuller, in a sense.

[Retard Girl]

I have started hating grease and salt more lately, but still, I get these awful cravings for the god awful crap that will kill me.

At least I won't have to get old.

I've been eating a lot of fruit cause it's summer and the fruit I eat is in season.

[Linzoy]

The best healthy food is food that will actually fill you up, like nuts, tofu, cottage cheese, soup, beans, salad. You won't lose weight if you're always starving. You'll just get hungrier and end up eating more.

[MST3Kakalina]

eating healthy is a better alternative to eating fatty crap, but it is a lot less gratifying. eating healthy foods like fruit or yogurt NEVER satisfies me, and it is only when I pick up a bag of chips or something that I feel fuller, in a sense.
i used to be able to eat just mountains of desserts like cookies and sugary drinks and poptarts and shit, but lately i have just a few and my tummy protests. i think that's good, really. there's so much stuff that's bad for you in general in overprocessed food like that, it's just ridiculous. my only real problem is now is not really how much i eat (i only had cereal, a bagel, a PB&J sandwich and a few cookies today) but the fact that i just sit on my ass ALL DAY.

but honestly? junk food just tastes so much better than health food. i'll still have cookies over granola bars any day.

[implode]

Also eating healthy sucks. From what I know it works better just to eat less. er... define "better." if you mean "for what i know, you lose weight faster if you just eat less" then the answer is yes, but if you mean "for what i know, it's better for your body to lose weight by having to resort to breaking down vital organ tissues for energy" then the answer is probably no.

[exemplary citizen]

i used to be able to eat just mountains of desserts like cookies and sugary drinks and poptarts and shit, but lately i have just a few and my tummy protests. i think that's good, really. there's so much stuff that's bad for you in general in overprocessed food like that, it's just ridiculous. my only real problem is now is not really how much i eat (i only had cereal, a bagel, a PB&J sandwich and a few cookies today) but the fact that i just sit on my ass ALL DAY.

but honestly? junk food just tastes so much better than health food. i'll still have cookies over granola bars any day.Yeah, but most granola bars are just as shitty for you as cookies. I was horrified to discover that.

I seriously need to get a gym membership. I've basically signed up for the "sit all day in front of your computer and become a repetitive-stress injured fatass by 30" degree. I ought to do something to counteract that. That, and I've noticed I'm a lot less prone to depression and procrastination when I get some physical activity, and that'd be really great if I could get my productivity back up and in working order. I've got a lot of shit to get done before I die.

[Retard Girl]

My dad won't let any one in our house eat anything with trans fat. No oreos,no name brand cookies, hell, no graham crackers.

And a lot of peanut butters are off limits.

Uh, nothing with shortening in it.

No prepared foods.

Very little stuff we can eat.

[Awesome McManly]

You are not, chut up. :(


I wish I could get my stomach straightened out so that I could stop losing random weight and gaining it back in the span of a month. That's pretty irritating. I'm tired of food making me sick all the time.


what's the problem with your stomach? It sounds a lot like what mine's been going through over the past year.

...

Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder if I should just stop eating at Denny's

[Linzoy]

er... define "better." if you mean "for what i know, you lose weight faster if you just eat less" then the answer is yes, but if you mean "for what i know, it's better for your body to lose weight by having to resort to breaking down vital organ tissues for energy" then the answer is probably no.No, not the second one.

[exemplary citizen]

what's the problem with your stomach? It sounds a lot like what mine's been going through over the past year.

...

Sometimes... Sometimes I wonder if I should just stop eating at Denny's
It's um... well, it's some kind of complicated auto-immune thing that causes severe inflammation of the stomach lining. Which translates into pain and suchlike when I eat. Mind you, this isn't <i>all</i> the time, but enough of the time to make it severely inconvenient for me.

I really don't like to talk about the minutia of my tummy problems. :(

[Awesome McManly]

Oh...

Mines a bit different than that.

sorry.

[TheTallestBlue]

233, bitches, and loving every square-inch I can see.

I never had a problem with myself, not serious. When i learned to build my self esteem, I just blossomed. I love who I am, be it fat or not fat. But I'm fat, and I'm proud. I'm proud that I haven't succumed to the media's/society's brainfucking that I should be 140 lbs. I've always hated girly girls for prancing around, obsessed with being perfect for boys, wasting their lives. I always hung out with the misfits, people who didn't give a shit about looks, and who devoted their time to fun, friends, and creativity! Its the only way to go. I'm free, I'm not a slave to fad diets or leg shaving. I do as I please, and because I love myself, I can embrace my womanhood and know that I am a strong and beautiful individual, and if anyone says otherwise then they are oblivious to reality.

Rory is hawt. <3

[Young Jeff Bridges]

yeah. yeah. i hate to be a negative nancy here, but that's seriously not something you can know. especially at your/our age.



i wasn't talking about me, or trying to :(
but i get your and cory's points.
i am just a nerd, is all.

i am not socially retarded completely with people, only the first several minutes i meet them. after that i am fine and myself.

[implode]

I've always hated girly girls for prancing around, obsessed with being perfect for boys, wasting their lives. see, this is exactly the reason that i let my self-esteem go in the other direction, so to speak. i would never want to end up like that. you know, the whole "I'M SO PROUD THAT I'VE CONFUSED CONFIDENCE WITH SUPERIORITY" attitude that it tends to breed. i don't like the idea of being better than somebody else. i'm not comfortable with it. i'm much happier with "yeah... yeah, i guess this is me. do you like it? is it okay?" and getting a positive reaction. makes me feel much more validated than it would if i just assumed that i was totally awesome my whole life.

but. you know. nothing against you. just two different ways of looking at it.

[Liz]

I think self confidence is the opposite of arrogance. To me, self confidence is someone who is fine with NOT being better than everyone else, is confident in themselves even if there are people better than them.


When I was uncomfortable with my body, I used to hate girls who showed any skin or any body shape. I don't think it's that I was jealous, it's just that we like to judge others based on what we excel in. And if we don't excel in the physical attraction department, and because society mainly accepts those who do, we get bitter. I used to wear entirely masculine clothing, clothing that was way too big for me so none of my body could be seen. I hid as much of myself as I could. But now that I'm 20 pounds lighter than I was, I have gradually been dressing differently. I'm becoming the kind of girl I used to hate. I used to see myself as neither gender.... a friend of mine states that I am a lot more girly since I got laid. I don't know what it is about sex, but I guess since that I have been more comfortable with my body. But I'm still a miserable, empty little person, so I want to lose more weight.

But I don't think I am better than people who are heavier than me. Even basing judgment on physical appearance, I have seen some pretty heavy girls who are just beautiful. Just because I judge myself so harshly physically doesn't mean I do the same to others. I think so many people are beautiful, and so flawless compared to me. I have more faults than most people. It's like, what I lack in everything else, these flaws I have, I have to make up for by being thinner. The more flaws I am focusing on, the thinner I feel I need to be. I feel like such a horrible, disgusting person so often, I have to starve it out.

So really, I want to be thin not to be better than other people, but to be equal to other people, because otherwise I feel so unequal.

[steffi]

Oh...

Mines a bit different than that.

sorry.
what's yours? mine gets terribly upset over half I eat. my doctor thought it was super high metabolism, but I didn't have an <i>excess</i> of the chemical involved in metabolism. sooo... they've been stumped since I was a child.

[t3]

Also eating healthy sucks. From what I know it works better just to eat less. I don't know if anyone should listen to me though, I have no long term sucsess.

In addition to what implode said, isn't it also true that when you go without eating for a long time, the next time you do eat our body stores even more fat than normal? So I guess unless you plan on starving completely to death, it's a pretty inefficient way to lose weight... but then, I'm not much of a health expert either. If only Mr. Wizard were still alive. He knew EVERYTHING.

[Liz]

Yeah, you can mess up your metabolism. But it depends on your age. You can't permanently mess it up until later in life.

[steffi]

unless it's already messed up.

[Linzoy]

In addition to what implode said, isn't it also true that when you go without eating for a long time, the next time you do eat our body stores even more fat than normal? So I guess unless you plan on starving completely to death, it's a pretty inefficient way to lose weight... but then, I'm not much of a health expert either. If only Mr. Wizard were still alive. He knew EVERYTHING.Ok, but I didn't mean that you should go without eating for a long time. I like the weight watchers diet, where you just eat less and less gradually, but eat the same foods you always eat. The theory is that when you start eating less food your appetite gets smaller, but a lot of people can't keep their weight down once they reach their goal weight. You could try to think of it as a process that never ends but that's pretty much just agreeing to let yourself suffer for the rest of your life. Being fat is it's own kind of suffering though so it's just not a good situation. I don't care about my physical appearance as much any more, and I was never that worried about my health. Maybe it's unrealistic of me but I can't imagine myself with diabetes or high blood pressure or something. Being fat is just uncomfortable. It's hard to shop and you have to walk around with 100 extra pounds all the time. It seems like magazines are always talking about how other people won't like you or you'll die if you're fat but they don't mention just it's just a difficult way to live.

My metabolism is really slow. My dad and I both write down all the stuff we eat and he eats twice as much as I do even though he's a lot skinnier. I try to exercise and stuff but I was just born a low energy person.

[Liz]

But being fat causes a lot of annoying complications. My dad is fat and his mother is thin. Right now, my dad takes like 20 something pills and his mother was flipping out a year or so ago because her doctor put her on one.

And my dad always huffs when he breathes. It's sick. And he sweats a lot. Which is sick too. And it's hard for him to do anything. And his knees hurt him. And all this stuff caused by extra weight.

[TheTallestBlue]

but. you know. nothing against you. just two different ways of looking at it.

Well, it's not that I hate them, I just find it pointless to worry so much. I mean, I was an honest kid, and I looked at things from many different point-of-views. I just thought it was a waste of time to wear makeup or tight clothes when the guys didn't do anything special to make US like them. It just made no sence to me, and I've never been overly feminine since. The playing field should be even. =p But I digress. It took me alot of time and patience to get out of my low-self-esteem slump. I worked hard, and I think I deserve to feel happy about myself.

[Sally]

I don't really care about what I look like anymore or what others think or whatever. I'm okay with how I look. And I completly block out everything at school, so I don't really know what people think of me. Except for the ones that take the time out of their day to come up to me and ask me how long I've been anorexic. I'm probibly not the right person to be asking these kinds of questions. The right kind of person would be the girls who wear size 00 pants and go the bathroom to puke after lunch. But like, when I was little, I couldn't eat alot so I was skinny to the point that you could see my intire rib cage. But now I'm aloud to eat whatever the hell I want, so I don't look quite so skelletony anymore. I'm gaining weight, though. Just because it's summer, and it's too fucking hot to go outside and get any kind of exersise and I sit still for most of the day and eat bacon. I figure once school starts and I'm forced to get up and walk around our ginormas new school everyday and goto PE I'll lose most of what I've gained.

[TheTallestBlue]

ahahha, oh, the days when PE was required.

[Vile]

My problem is the classic starve and binge. for instance- I just ate probably a gallon of cookie dough and am debating whether or not to run to the toilet.

I won't. sigh.

I don't eat all day and then someone asks me to make cookies. bumblefuck.

[Sally]

I only need a half credit before I'm out of it FOREVER.

[Vile]

We have to do twenty minute runs in gym this year. I can barely run for over a minute, but I can walk for over three hours. weeeeeeeeeep.

[Takker]

PE is manditory in Illinois. tis teh suck.

anyway, me and my mom were on weightwatchers together. it's all about eating in moderation. a certain serving of something is worth a certain amount of points based on its fat content, calories, and all that. you get a total of 20 something points, and the trick is to not go over your point range. my mom lost like, 25 lbs, and I lost 15 or so, only because I didn't excersize like she did. we're planning on going back on it again soon. we just need to find her point value scale thing that her friend borrowed.

[Vile]

That is so fucking awesome. Erin is now on teh weight watcherzz.

[Linzoy]

50 calories=1 point. That rule almost always works, I stopped using the little point cardboard thing a long time ago.

[Liz]

Since Friday, I have had a piece of toast and a bowl of soup.
Yay
I am getting less hungry.

[Linzoy]

Once I was sick and I didn't eat for about 3 days but I gained a pound. You can't burn calories on an empty stomach.

[Liz]

Sure you can. If you weren't burning calories, you wouldn't produce any body heat. And how else would you be doing neccessary life processes? Photosynthesis?

[Vile]

Since Friday, I have had a piece of toast and a bowl of soup.
Yay
I am getting less hungry.

Hey liz. Want to be healthy together? As in, let us not kill ourselves?

[Liz]

I can't be healthy. If I eat I eat too much.

[Vile]

I wish I could live with you and make sure you don't die :(

[TheTallestBlue]

Liz, don't be a http://www.survivinginbiafra.com/StarvingBiafranChild.jpg

[Vile]

yeah. We love you!

[Linzoy]

Sure you can. If you weren't burning calories, you wouldn't produce any body heat. And how else would you be doing neccessary life processes? Photosynthesis?Sure, if you take what I said literally than I'm wrong. But starving is still a bad way to lose weight.

[Liz]

I'm not going to go too low. And then I am going to try to maintain my weight, but it seems like I have to be either gaining or losing. It's easier for me not to eat at all then to eat in moderation.

[implode]

50 calories=1 point. That rule almost always works, I stopped using the little point cardboard thing a long time ago. eeee. 1,000 calories a day? that is no good. do not start out with trying to accomplish 1,000 calories a day. it is hardly enough for an 8 year old boy.

nobody is going to die. no need to get the sand dwellers involved, here.

[Vile]

That doesn't mean it's better. Liz, if you don't start eating, than I'm not going to eat either.

[Linzoy]

Huh? When did I say you should eat 1000 calories a day?

[Liz]

I'll eat something tommorow.

50 calories = 1 point. 20 points = 1000 calories?

[TheTallestBlue]

And it's easier for me to eat a ton than to eat in moderation. That's you've got to change is your control.

[Vile]

When you said you should aspire to twenty points. 50X20=1000?

edit: damnit, liz.

[Liz]

yeah exactly blue. It's easier for me to either eat a ton or not at all.

[implode]

Huh? When did I say you should eat 1000 calories a day? er, you didn't, but takker said 20 points a day, and you said 50 calorieees equated to one point. and together, they form a batch of slightly irresponsible advice.

I'll eat something tommorow. how many cups of coffee have you had since friday?

[Linzoy]

I'm supposed to eat like 40 points or something.

Weight watchers adjusts the amount of points you should eat every day according to your weight, age, and height. I don't recall anyone saying you should eat 20 points a day. If someone said that it wasn't me.

[Vile]

Yeah, sorry. I thought you were the one that said it too. BUT YOU DIDN'T.

I guess I'm not eating until tomorrow, liz. LIVE WITH THE GUILT BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY AGAIN.

[Liz]

er, you didn't, but takker said 20 points a day, and you said 50 calorieees equated to one point. and together, they form a batch of slightly irresponsible advice.

how many cups of coffee have you had since friday?

Oh god like 3-4 a day. This morning it is blueberry coffee.

Damn you vile. Some guy got me off of a fast that way once. He said he wouldn't eat if I didn't eat, and I told him if we went three days I would eat.
And he went three days so I had to eat.

[Vile]

I hate coffee.

[TheTallestBlue]

My amount was 25. And the definition of a point relies on fat, fiber, and calories....not just calories.

[Linzoy]

I think the existance of this thread has made me very unhungry for the past day. I just realized I skipped lunch and only noticed because I looked at the clock, not cause I'm hungry....

[Linzoy]

My amount was 25. And the definition of a point relies on fat, fiber, and calories....not just calories.I know that's what they say, but the points system is pretty new. They used to just make people count calories. They just made up the points thing to make it sound all scientific and complicated. I swear 95% of the time 50 calories is 1 point.

[implode]

Oh god like 3-4 a day. This morning it is blueberry coffee. haha. blueberry coffee is <i>awesome.</i> i get one every evening after i take my walk. how many spoonfuls of sugar do you put in each cup?

Damn you vile. Some guy got me off of a fast that way once. He said he wouldn't eat if I didn't eat, and I told him if we went three days I would eat. And he went three days so I had to eat. i've done that to people, before. if it works, it proves you're a compassionate human being who'd claw tragically at my leg if you actually collapsed on the floor one day under the impression that you were dying.

well, no. but i like to believe it, anyway.

My amount was 25. And the definition of a point relies on fat, fiber, and calories....not just calories. ah. good.

[Vile]

Oh god like 3-4 a day. This morning it is blueberry coffee.

Damn you vile. Some guy got me off of a fast that way once. He said he wouldn't eat if I didn't eat, and I told him if we went three days I would eat.
And he went three days so I had to eat.


;) I mean it. Or shall I cut to make you stop?

I do it cause I care.

[Liz]

haha.
If you cut I'll cut.

:(

I'll eat tommorow. Or I could lie and say I ate... haha

[Vile]

Well, now I HAVE to wait until tomorrow, don't I? You just gave it away.

[Liz]

I was kidding.
Did you eat anything today?

[Vile]

Like, a fucking pound of cookie dough. Trust me, I'm good for three days, I can hold it for one.

[Durana-Kal]

I am going to fast until both of you eat something. And no fair a single cracker, I mean a MEAL. I swear, the things I do for you people....

[Vile]

Aww. :vile: you're too good to us. But you have to wait a day, remember.

[Liz]

I don't even know who you are.
Hehehe.

Okay vile, I don't feel so bad. You probably had your 2000 calories for today anyways. heh

[Vile]

Thought that counts, thought that counts!

[Liz]

I knowww.
I'll eat tommorow. I am so excited. WHat should I eat? I want ice cream.

[implode]

Like, a fucking pound of cookie dough. Trust me, I'm good for three days, I can hold it for one. you've actually gone three days? that is <i>hard.</i> i'm not going to congratulate you, but i am going to nod accordingly.

coffee works by flooding your brain with a caffeinated sense of fulfillment. it doesn't matter if you're hungry anymore - you've got a good amount of artificial energy to work on and by the time it wears off you tummy won't be contracting in desire, anymore. it's no good. i think it killed that terri schiavo character.

[Liz]

you've actually gone three days? that is <i>hard.</i> i'm not going to congratulate you, but i am going to nod accordingly.

coffee works by flooding your brain with a caffeinated sense of fulfillment. it doesn't matter if you're hungry anymore - you've got a good amount of artificial energy to work on and by the time it wears off you tummy won't be contracting in desire, anymore. it's no good. i think it killed that terri schiavo character.

Yeah, I also take adderall which maeks it wayyy easier to eat. I could hardly go a day without it.

[implode]

i know. cravings seem much stronger when there's an artificial prescription stregnth pill dissolving in your gut. i'm surprised the adderall does it, though - stimulants usually work the opposite way, for me. maybe you've just built up a tolerance.

[Liz]

I meant, way easier not to eat.
Sorry.

[implode]

oh. yeah. try cocaine.

or better yet: don't.

but yeah. downers really do make it harder. painkillers, especially. it's okay if you ignore the craving and don't eat ANYTHING, but once you start eating, you never ever <i>ever</i> get full. i've eaten whole small pizzas, this way.

[Liz]

pot makes me eat a lot.

[implode]

haha. no kidding. pot has probably kept me...

you know. i think i'm getting a little too personal with this thread. i'm going to stop before it breaks my heart like all the others.

[Liz]

break that heart, bitch

[implode]

no way. i have no one to take down with me. the thread won't lay awake at night wondering if i really meant what i said.

[Liz]

:(

[implode]

:confused:

if you really want my heart to be broken, you probably wouldn't have to try too hard. you're a clever girl. consider the possibilities.

[Vile]

I can eat for everrrr. rrr. I can eat a medium pizza all by myself if I want to. I throw up afterwords, but the point is, I can.

I just downloaded some pro ana tips.

sh-shaw. After friday, I'm leaving the moose until the goal is reached.

[Linzoy]

My parents say that pot makes people parinoid.

[Vile]

It does, I believe. Nothing I'D like to try, anyway.

[implode]

I can eat for everrrr. rrr. I can eat a medium pizza all by myself if I want to. I throw up afterwords, but the point is, I can.

I just downloaded some pro ana tips.

sh-shaw. After friday, I'm leaving the moose until the goal is reached. grrrrrrr. vile. i am going to PM you shortly.

i will not use the word "grrrrrr" in the PM, fret not.

[implode]

My parents say that pot makes people parinoid. eh. depending on if you're susceptible to paranoia in the first place. i very rarely get paranoid. when i do, though, it's a nasty experience that i've outlined before on my site. um. this is just like typing the word "sometimes." i apologize.

[Linzoy]

If you wrote sometimes it would really just create more questions than it would answer. I like it when people elaborate on things unless it's just for the sake of writing something really long.

[Vile]

grrrrrrr. vile. i am going to PM you shortly.

i will not use the word "grrrrrr" in the PM, fret not.


why?

[Takker]

don't leave us Viiiile :(

[exemplary citizen]

Erin, you're being a big stupid-head. Stop it. Right goddamned now.

[MST3Kakalina]

<g>GOD DAMMIT ERIN.

I AM HUNGRY ON YOUR BEHALF.


:(

[Takker]

*weep*

[Vile]

:( shush. It'll only be a week or so.

[Takker]

nooooooo :(

[Vile]

Gosh, guys.

For realz. FINE. help me pick something else for my 100 pound reward then.

[MST3Kakalina]

how about...no 100 pound reward? because you are more than fine how you are and you have a lovely boy that agrees with us?

[Takker]

if you HAVE to lose weight, can't you shoot for something healthier? like 110, at <i>least?</i>

and you have a lovely boy that agrees with us?yeah, zach likes you for who you are, why can't you? it makes me so saaad ;_;

[Vile]

Dude. I'm 109. That'd be gaining, you hunk of silly pants.

Guys, chill out. I checked my BMI and I'd still be "average" at 100.

[Takker]

even 109 is too thin, I think. it's like, skeletal. I have a friend who weighs around 110-115, and she's waaaay to thin for comfort. it's crazy. if she wasn't so healthy looking and against anorexia, I'd say she had an eating disorder.

[Vile]

You all seem to forget that I'm only five feet tall.

[MST3Kakalina]

but you're skinnyskinny as it is. plus, it's not a healthy mindset to have. we just want you to be happy with yourself without having to constantly be striving for some goal weight. you'll get to 100, and it'll be fine, and then a few weeks later it won't be good enough and you'll be trying for 95. then 90.

you get the picture.

[Takker]

You all seem to forget that I'm only five feet tall.awww, still though.

[Vile]

:<

Maybe I just shouldn't tell you guys about it anymore.

[MST3Kakalina]

nooo. erin. erin. don't.


:(

[Takker]

we just want you to be healthy and all that.

[Vile]

Infact, you know. I think the moose vacation should start today. This is my business. I know you're all trying to help- but it's my life. If I want to ruin it, then I will.

I'm sorry.

edit: *sigh* no. You're right. fuck. I know. I won't go. God..

God damnit.

[Takker]

*sigh* well, if you feel that way...it upsets me, but I have a feeling that whatever we say won't make a difference, so have a nice vacation, I guess.

[MST3Kakalina]

guh.


guuuuuuuh.


dammit if i lived in canada i would march over to your house and beat you up.

well not really but i'd still be all "god dammit stoppit, there's no reason for you to ruin your life grrrr."

[Takker]

oh wait, there's an edit up there. *supercyberhug* don't be mad at us please. we just don't want you to waste away or anything

[Vile]

I'm so torn between what I want.

I HATE torturing you guys with my problems. And if I wasn't here, you'd probably be talking about um. Digletts or something. I feel awful. I really really do.

That's why if I did go, it'd be better! Plus

<small> If it gets to the point were I have to go to the hospital, you'd never find out.

if I die (heaven forbid) you'd never know- You'd just say "I wonder when vile will come back?"</small>

That won't happen, though.

[Takker]

you shouldn't be so nonchalant about those things. that's the kinda stuff that worries me..

edit: and I'd rather have you here than dead in a ditch or something horrible like that.

[MST3Kakalina]

you're not torturing us, you sillypie. imagine how we'd feel when Zach came to the board to tell us that you were sick or in the hospital or even (gasp) dead, and you had never told us a thing.

i'd feel pretty awful, for one. like i could have made a difference or tried or something.

[Linzoy]

What's the difference between 110 and 100? Seriously, when you're already that skinny there isn't much you can do to improve your health. Do you really want all your ribs to be clearly visible?

[Vile]

It can't happen, takker. :<3:

You all worry too much.

[MST3Kakalina]

haha. Linzoy sums all of our worrying up in one short and easy point.

[Takker]

awww, you should be happy that we care enough to worry. we wuv yooou

[Vile]

I know you wuv me oodles, and I wuv yoo ^-^ *glompz0rz.*

But. You know.

Why can liz do it and not me? Hell, she's four inches taller and you guys don't mother her.

[Takker]

that's a good question. why DON'T we mother liz? we should....

[MST3Kakalina]

Liz didn't threaten to take a moosebreak from us. if she had, i would have been equally concerned. i like the two of you too much to see you guys hurt yourselves like that.

[Takker]

yeah, that's a good reason...

[Linzoy]

Honestly I think everyone is so used to liz mutilating herself. It's like the school shootings, it's not shocking any more.

I don't want to mother anybody about their self hatred problems though, I think that's just encouraging it, even if it's not concious.

[Vile]

Maybe.

er.

you win. Yes. I will not leave. Except for right now. I have to make some tea. I'll be back later though! I promise! I love you! buh bye.

[MST3Kakalina]

it depends on what the problem is.

like if stevil came here and threatened to kill himself again, i'd be like "pff. okay. sure. if you really think you have nothing to live for, go for it." because that's obviously him whoring for attention.


but with eating disorders and all of that. i don't know. i guess it CAN turn into "i'm going to say i'm starving myself so people will talk to me and be concerned about me" but i really don't think that's the case here. that happens more on LiveJournal and shit.

[Linzoy]

I don't really think that's the case here either, but this could turn into a habit for vile like it is for stevil, or worse, some kid might be reading and decide that people get more attention for doing bad things than good things and get into the habit of threatening people. Things like this thread should happen in PM or something if they even should exist at all.

It's just not a good idea to think of the people here as people who control your entire life. Liz has a lot of good qualitys but no one should immitate everything she does. I don't consider it a coincidence that vile cut up her ear after liz decided to do it and what's happening now doesn't seem like much of a coincidence either. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like a good idea to rely on the internet for all your emotional support needs.

[MST3Kakalina]

well, no. it's not a good idea to rely on teh intarweb for things like that. but Vile has therapy and Zach. Liz has other friends that she's mentioned, plus she can't be on here that much anyway.

and i'm not comfortable PMing people, really. otherwise i would do it more often.

[GoodDog666]

Last I checked (which was like 3 months ago) I was 205 pounds, but also being 6'2" most of that out seems to go up. Still have some nasty stretch marks on my waist though. I'm trying to lose some weight, but it's not a big priority. Plus I absolutely hate exercise.

Oh and I have already planned an elaborate system for notification of internet friends to put in my will if I make a will someday. I thought it up right after planning how to get into E3. Such fun things to imagine when I lay in bed at night.

How I miss the sleepless night spent happily moose-ing.

[Vile]

I didn't mutilate my ear *VERY FUCKING OFFENDED*

Fuck you, ok? You think I did THAT of all things for attention? God, I do that shit all the time, and the only reason I wanted to make the thread was to show off the fact that I could do it without making a mess of my ear like liz did!

And you think this no eating thing has to do with liz? If you've ever actually read my posts, you'd know it started before liz even joined.

When are you ever NOT on my case, linzoy?

[deadish]

this thread makes me feel HORRIBLE about the stuff i've done to myself. and the stuff i really want to do. kjsnrgknhgkrrghr.
i want a big hug-pile now.

[Takker]

um, I don't understand the ear thing, but yeah *hugs deadish* wheeee

[Liz]

I was jealous of all the worrying you guys.
Then I realized Vile threatened her moosey existance. So I hoped that was why nobody cares.

J/k.
PS last night I ate ice cream and today I ate rice and an english muffin. Hooray!

I didn't mutilate my ear *VERY FUCKING OFFENDED*

Fuck you, ok? You think I did THAT of all things for attention? God, I do that shit all the time, and the only reason I wanted to make the thread was to show off the fact that I could do it without making a mess of my ear like liz did!

And you think this no eating thing has to do with liz? If you've ever actually read my posts, you'd know it started before liz even joined.

When are you ever NOT on my case, linzoy?

When did I make a mess of my ear? I remember mentioning the lip thing... did I mention the 8g needle in my cartilage too? My labret was very clean, as was the 14g industrial I did. The only times I've bled a lot is when using 10 or 8g needles which will bleed a lot even if you get it done.

I'm not sure she's saying you are imitating me, I think she is saying I am imitating you on the eating disorder thing. Which may or may not be true. Material online can be triggering for a lot of things... SI, anorexia, etc. Look at the pro-ana boards.

I hope none of you think that I self injure for attention. When I am doing it, my motives definately do not involve other people. Although afterwards I will admit I sometimes talk about it or show it because I want to try to communicate something I am feeling that I cannot communicate with words.


Also, my dad is thinking of getting one of those programs that tracks everything you do. In which case, I would not be allowed on AIM or on RWAM or the internet hardly at all, considering my dad doesn't want me on here just because he saw koba's signature once. So if he gets that, which they have been talking about for like a month or two now so I doubt it will ever get done, but if he does get it, I won't be able to come on here or AIM anymore. But don't weep just yet, because I doubt it will happen. Just in case.

[Linzoy]

well, no. it's not a good idea to rely on teh intarweb for things like that. but Vile has therapy and Zach. Liz has other friends that she's mentioned, plus she can't be on here that much anyway.

and i'm not comfortable PMing people, really. otherwise i would do it more often.That's true.I didn't mutilate my ear *VERY FUCKING OFFENDED*

Fuck you, ok? You think I did THAT of all things for attention? God, I do that shit all the time, and the only reason I wanted to make the thread was to show off the fact that I could do it without making a mess of my ear like liz did!No, I said I don't think you did it for attention. But you strongly remind me of other people who are much worse than you.
And you think this no eating thing has to do with liz? If you've ever actually read my posts, you'd know it started before liz even joined.

When are you ever NOT on my case, linzoy?I'm not on your case, I wasn't really talking directly to you. Or even about you, so don't take it so personally. I hate seeing people who are too weak to find enjoyment out of anything but threatening to hurt people.

the only reason I wanted to make the thread was to show off the fact that I could do it without making a mess of my ear like liz did!Ok, whatever you where doing to your ear, you just admitted you where showing off. Your intention was to get attention from us. It didn't have to do with what you personally want with your ear.

[Linzoy]

I was jealous of all the worrying you guys.
Then I realized Vile threatened her moosey existance. So I hoped that was why nobody cares.

J/k.
PS last night I ate ice cream and today I ate rice and an english muffin. Hooray!



When did I make a mess of my ear? I remember mentioning the lip thing... did I mention the 8g needle in my cartilage too? My labret was very clean, as was the 14g industrial I did. The only times I've bled a lot is when using 10 or 8g needles which will bleed a lot even if you get it done.

I'm not sure she's saying you are imitating me, I think she is saying I am imitating you on the eating disorder thing. Which may or may not be true. Material online can be triggering for a lot of things... SI, anorexia, etc. Look at the pro-ana boards.

I hope none of you think that I self injure for attention. When I am doing it, my motives definately do not involve other people. Although afterwards I will admit I sometimes talk about it or show it because I want to try to communicate something I am feeling that I cannot communicate with words.I don't think that, for the record or something.

[Vile]

I didn't do it just to show you, I made the thread just to show you. You think I'd do it if I didn't like it? I'm not a dumbass, dumbass.

It's the same as getting a new bike and making a thread to show it off. I didn't get the new bike to make a thread about it. chances are I wanted the fucking bike.

[Liz]

Aww stop the nastiness. I am fond of both of you. Linzoy is a skeptic, but it's just an opinion and I'm sure she still recognizes positive traits in you.

[MST3Kakalina]

Also, my dad is thinking of getting one of those programs that tracks everything you do. In which case, I would not be allowed on AIM or on RWAM or the internet hardly at all, considering my dad doesn't want me on here just because he saw koba's signature once. So if he gets that, which they have been talking about for like a month or two now so I doubt it will ever get done, but if he does get it, I won't be able to come on here or AIM anymore. But don't weep just yet, because I doubt it will happen. Just in case.


oh god. that's my fault? eeep. i feel....really terrible about that. did you explain to him that it's from Pulp Fiction?

and hooray for eating food!


:: hugpile for deadish ::


and Vile, i don't think Linzoy meant to attack you. it's more pointing out behaviour that she's noticed than saying something like "you're a stupid lame copycat nyahh." so. shh. it's okay.


and i think this post about covers it. okay? okay.

[Liz]

oh god. that's my fault? eeep. i feel....really terrible about that. did you explain to him that it's from Pulp Fiction?

and hooray for eating food!


:: hugpile for deadish ::


and Vile, i don't think Linzoy meant to attack you. it's more pointing out behaviour that she's noticed than saying something like "you're a stupid lame copycat nyahh." so. shh. it's okay.


and i think this post about covers it. okay? okay.

No it's not your fault he's getting the program. That is entirely my fault, my parents suspect I am going on AIM, which I am. I'm just saying, if he's offended by something as simple as your sig, I can't be coming on RWAM.

[Linzoy]

Yeah, I think this thing has pretty much been covered.

My mom blocked me from maddox a few months ago, just because she doesn't "like" it. I wouldn't mind so much if it was her policy to dislike offensive humor but she reads the onion all the time and watches SNL, just like I do. Usually she gives up on stuff like this if I ignore it but it's been a few months.

[MST3Kakalina]

but...still. that's gotta be at least a little awkward.

your parents need to chill out. are you at least going away to college after high school?


i guess you could argue that Maddox is like...extremely hateful and offensive. but that's a weak argument and he's pretty obvious satire. that's pretty stupid, actually.

[Liz]

Me?
My parents are religious nuts. I don't know about college. I would like to apprentice a tattoo artist after high school, and my dad is thinking of paying for it. I just don't know whether I will have enough money to move out by then. I am opening up a bank account for christmas though so it will be easier for me to save.

[Linzoy]

I'm definatly going away to college. I might even go away to some kind of prep school next year but I don't want to because I'll be leaving all the people at my normal school. I don't really know what I want at this point really, my future's really uncertain right now.

[MST3Kakalina]

well, i was talking to Liz, but i guess both apply. both of your families are a wee bit strange.

but yeah. i think it would be a good idea for you to "leave the nest" as soon as you can, Lizzielizlizliz. it would probably be a good idea for me, too, except i am wicked poor. fuck minimum wage.

[MST3Kakalina]

dawww, thank you. I get what you're saying. as for you, I don't think I've seen a recent picture of you, so I wouldn't know anything. <small>but butterball makes it sound so cuuuute</small> I doubt you're fat though. See, it seems a lot of the moosers here SAY they're fat (vile and liz come to mind) when in all actuality, they're skinny twigs, and very pretty, might I add. I'm sure you're the same.


hey. this was like a million pages ago but i just remembered i have like a thousand pictures from my mecha trip on this computer.

i think this one's a pretty fair shot.


<img src="http://www.roomwithamoose.com/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=13163&stc=1">

butterball is me. also, it would seem that i'm balding. well, shit.


but innit Mecha cute? :steff:

[Liz]

That is a megadorable picture.

Thank you guys for caring so much about me and Vile. I know it's more than I deserve.

[Takker]

awww, what a cute pictuuuure

[Rory Storm]

We love each other at the moose, I know we do.

I think my house got struck by lightning today, we got a severe storm, I wasn't home, but I was driving home and we rode through the storm. It was nuts.

[Young Jeff Bridges]

hey. this was like a million pages ago but i just remembered i have like a thousand pictures from my mecha trip on this computer.

i think this one's a pretty fair shot.


<img src="http://www.roomwithamoose.com/vbulletin/attachment.php?attachmentid=13163&stc=1">

butterball is me. also, it would seem that i'm balding. well, shit.


but innit Mecha cute? :steff:

rings :<3:

[MST3Kakalina]

:<3: for your rings too, Jonajonajonatron.


HEY YOU GUYS. apparently one of my "friends" confided to my best friend that she thought i was too ugly to get laid (or at least, to get laid before her). not in so many words, of course, but that's the implication.

how's that for friendship?


and shushsush Liz. you deserve caring and concern. so dun be saying that.

[implode]

eh. not <i>all</i> friendships can be special. you only really get a few in your whole life where the person and you are simply <i>meant</i> for each other, accept each other for what they are and never even think to compare one another. you come as a package, no matter what, and if you realize the negative qualities of one another, you have no reason to go behind your friends back and complain about it to others. i only think i have one. maybe not even that. I AM UNLOVEABLE ARRRRR.

but anyway, the point is that just because she said that, doesn't mean she isn't your friend. just not somebody you'll want to be complimenting to others anytime soon.