highschool party

[robot]

well its the end of summer
so theres a few parties this weekend
so i thought

write a narrative in the first person perspective of a person at a highschool party

b create ive

[HOMERCHESTRA]

I'm too sexy for my shirt.
Too sexy for my shirt.
I'm so sexy it hurts.

[töm]

dude this is awesome i never would have thought to start drinking on your parents front lawn at six in the afternoon. that means we get like extra hours of drinking in. what is that cop car doing here man? is your dad a cop or something? dude?

[t3]

Dude, screw this place. I'm'a go look for a leprachaun. He can help with the business, and I'll be richer than you chumps will ever be. EVER.

Also, whoever's house this is, I'm taking your mini-wheats. I knew you wouldn't mind.

[Meat Load]

Hey guys look at me I'm a retarded asshole!

What's that? More alcohol, you say?

[Davey Rootbeer]

I didn't get invited again.

Oh well, all those popular kids are just going to peak in high school, anyway. I'll be rich and famous, just so long as i don't fall into a giant networking thing that sucks up all my time all day and makes me increasingly counterproductive.

in the meantime, i'll just sort through my 1983 Topps collection again! i think i missed a pete rose back there earlier.

[t3]

OH SHIT. ZELDA IS DELAYED UNTIL 2006. Oh well, gives me more time to play Sly 2: Band of Thieves.

[HOMERCHESTRA]

Every time I hear the word party, I instantly listen to Andrew WK.

The man is a fucking genius extroardinare.

[implode]

god damn dude she is <i>so</i> hot. the only reason i came to this party is because scott told me she'd be here. you think she smokes? i'll bet i could get her to come smoke with me. oh shit, do i have weed? fuck. ben has weed. but i can't bring him with me, she's so fucking hot, he'll be all over her too and cockblocking me and shit - no, i gotta go ask him for some.

...

what the fuck am i saying? i can't fucking ask him for some, that's so fucking stupid. i haven't even seen her yet, anyway. where is she? she hasn't been near the keg. unless she left with those dudes who were arm wrestling and shit over the corner. ugh. god. if she left with those dudes, i don't want her anyway. christ. so adorable. what the fuck am i saying? of course i want her. but fuck. i can't find her.

... shit. spilled another beer. what? yeah, yeah, that's fucking awesome, rock on, hey, i need another beer i'll get right back to you. fuck yeah.

is that her? no. no, that's... over there?! oh shit. it's her. the weed. i need some weed. wtf. i can't go and talk to her if i don't have any weed. she's with a bunch of dudes, anyway. fuck. she's with <i>jon?</i> argh. i can't go over there now. obnoxious fuck. maybe i could... fuck. fuck fuck fuck. she needs to be alone if this is going to work. um. whatever i'm going to do. shit. i don't even have a plan? no. i can't go talk to her now. i can't. i'll embarrass myself. i'll waste her time. i gotta go find my friends or something. nevermind.

fuck. this party sucks. :(

[steffi]

what? you want me to go to your party?

hahahaha. no.

[deadish]

god, i want to go home.
i knew i shouldn't have said i'd come.
jesus, this couch stinks. i bet somebody ralphed on it and didn't clean up or something.
man. no diet drinks; oh, thanks a lot, assholes. "it's not like there's a diabetic coming or anything. we'll just have sugary soda and alcohol gee golly."
it's my favourite thing ever to go over to a stranger's house, sit on a funky smelling couch, and thirst to death while being ignored.
fuck i'm bored. i'm getting a ride home.

[Forever Finite]

at my college orientation they supplied snacks during the breaks because the class was all day long. but they only had regular coke and i was the only person there out of 200 pouting about it. come on guys, this is san antonio. what about the booming diabetic populatioin? what about the chronic dieters? what about me and <I>my</i> needs?

[Awesome McManly]

<img src="http://www.robbinsedge.com/images/tony_robbins.gif">

eh? eh?

[t3]

<img src="http://www.gnr-distro.com/img/media/KITH006%20MILLIGAN%20&%20HECUBUS.png">

NOW we're cooking with evil gas!