in memoriam

[implode]

<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050821/ap_en_ce/thompson_memorial">hunter s. thompson's ashes are blasted into the night sky amid fireworks</a>

finality isn't as easy a concept to grasp as one might think. to truly understand the implications of something being GONE FOREVER, you have to experience the loss yourself. the way i see it, the curious thing about finality is the examples only come in XXL and XXS varieties. there is no comforting "medium" for you to slip into. examples:

XXL - a close personal friend is killed/dies. you are at first confronted with a sense of surrealism - "dead, man? <i>dead?</i>" you don't quite know how to handle it. if you weren't with them when they died, the news will take a bit of time to sink in. it might hit you before the funeral, or it might hit you after the funeral, but the first time you really understand the <i>finality</i> of the whole affair is when something reminds you of your friend and you pick up the phone to call them. you can't. they are gone FOREVER. there will be no stories about the fun he had on his trip when he returns, because he will not return. your eyes well up and the feeling overtakes you and you really understand. good luck.

XXS - you lose the bracelet that you've worn every day for the past year. the finality of this situation should hit you right away, as soon as you glance at your wrist in passing and notice the odd look it's taken on. you think about the things you did today - there were a lot of them. there are a million possibilities about where that bracelet could be, and chances are, you'll never see it again.

there are no other options because there are no other things to catagorize. you only care about lives and things. lives are irreplaceable - things are not. things can carry different emotional attachments, of course, but in the end, they're still just things, and any attachment you had to them will live on as a memory inside the archives of your blog/brain. of course, there are the THINGS that symbolize the LIVES, which are their own catagory entirely, but none of this has anything to do with the abrupt segue i am about to force upon you:

when you die, have you made a decision as to how you'd like your final arrangements to be prepared?

hunter s. thompson's method of "going out with a bang" really struck me as... well... being striking. the congregation of people that attended the affair was really just a wake, but the actual method of <I>blasting your ashes into the sky</i> is very interesting. he did not treat his passing as a solemn affair - he did exactly what he wanted to do in his last opportunity to do so. there will inevitably be a "last chapter" in all our lives, and i feel too many last chapters have been wasted in churches that the deceased had never once attended, being proctored by a clergyman that the deceased may not have agreed with. i don't want everyone's last memory of me to be lying face up in a box, while people "relive" all their favorite cory memories through prepared speeches and hugs. that seems so athetical to the life i've tried to live up until this point that i have to get this out in the open right now - DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME.

step one: first, i'd like to be cremated, if at all possible. i will probably leave behind enough funds to pay for this, but if this isn't the case, i'm sure one of you has a large enough backyard to accomodate a rudimentary firepit.

step two: i'd like the ashes to be evenly distributed amongst every willing participant that attends the "wake." i'm still undecided on what the method will be for said wake - a thread on this board would be nice in theory, but unfair to those in my life who don't post here and you have to take into account the fact that i'll probably be alive longer than this board will, interests change, etc. etc. but yes. i'd like a "part of me" to go home with anyone who's willing to take it with them.

step three: create your own step three. don't keep the ashes forever until that's what you want to do. empty them into your favorite river, mix them into a recipe for chocolate chip cookies, sell them to stupid kids claiming they're heroin - whatever you want. i am at your disposal. whatever will make me make you smile, one last time.

---

has anyone else ever considered how they'd like their final arrangements to be prepared?

[Rory Storm]

Yes, I am going to sell my body to science. $300 up front, and they take it when you die. Sounds promising, I'm going to do it that way.

[Zorkporker]

I wanna be preserved and proped up somewhere as art.
Like lennon.


Or you could just feed my rotting corpse to the dogs in the woods.
Whatever my insurance company will cover at the time.

[implode]

haha. $300 up front? that's silly. now they have a contract on you. make sure you let your wife/kids/whoever might care know that the people coming for your body have every right to be doing so.

[Meat Load]

To be honest, I haven't really thought about an exact method. Death is still a long ways away, and if I ever do think of something, I want it to be something that reflects exactly who I am. I've got at least fifty years to decide what that is, I figure.

[Rory Storm]

Wife? Kids? Kids? Hahaha, I don't want kids. I don't like to be touched, remember. So therefore, no wife, I assume. Plus, I'm not a big people person. I want to die alone, then, they take my body, and preform HORRIBLE TESTS ON IT. YEAH!

[implode]

a very healthy attitude. i actually just came up with that on the spot - if things change, i'll be sure to let a piece of paper know, somewhere.

[implode]

Wife? Kids? Kids? Hahaha, I don't want kids. I don't like to be touched, remember. So therefore, no wife, I assume. Plus, I'm not a big people person. I want to die alone, then, they take my body, and preform HORRIBLE TESTS ON IT. YEAH! okay, then. i'm just saying, if things ever change, try to remember to mention it to the people who might care about what happens to your shell.

[KLEIN]

I don't intend to die.

I will keep my mind alive. I will become immortal. This flesh means nothing.

Barring unforseen accidents, of course.

[Zorkporker]

Wife? Kids? Kids? Hahaha, I don't want kids. I don't like to be touched, remember. So therefore, no wife, I assume. Plus, I'm not a big people person. I want to die alone, then, they take my body, and preform HORRIBLE TESTS ON IT. YEAH!

Ooo you could be like the jews at auschwitz!
Yeah i made a auschwitz joke. SO?!
But my idea would be cool if like they could cut of my head and genitals and like.
Put a rams head on me.
You know. To spice it up.

[Lord Koopa]

I want my ashes to be fed to some freak who's into that kind of thing.

[implode]

But my idea would be cool if like they could cut of my head and genitals and like.
Put a rams head on me.
You know. To spice it up. you want to be remembered as an asexual ram?

[implode]

I want my ashes to be fed to some freak who's into that kind of thing. eh. serves me right for not posting this in ontopic, i suppose.

[Zorkporker]

you want to be remembered as an asexual ram?

DUH!

[deadish]

i want to be cremated.
then- new orleans-style funeral. dancing black man in top hat with an umbrella leading a brass band down the street. PARTY.

(it will be more likely that i will quietly be sprinkled into the sea. i miss it so.)

i always talk to my mum about these things and tell her what i want her to do as i expect to die before she does.

[implode]

i can't talk to her about it because she freaks out and gets all emotional on me. i get tangled into these horrible conversations about the past and... egh. no. i'll tell my favorite messageboard, instead.

you spent time at sea?

[deadish]

my mum and i always talk about it because she's horribly diseased and getting worse every year and i'm horribly diseased and extremely manic with access to harmful things. : D

i lived by the sea for many a year m'lad. seagulls and alligators were me friends.

[implode]

i expect to outlive my mom (for reasons you have already described), but i <i>don't</i> expect to outlive most of the people that matter on this messageboard (for reasons you have already described), so, basically, what i'm saying is, let's get married and live out the rest of our days on an island with a wireless internet connection and a waterslide.

[exemplary citizen]

I'd like to be cremated. Take out the useful working parts that might help somebody else out and burn the rest. That's about all I really care about, because I have a firm belief that putting a rotting body in a hermetically sealed capsule only to be dug up and put in a landfill a hundred years later to make room for more of that kind of thing is the world's biggest scam. I'm not gonna need that body for anything any more, just make it as compact as possible so it doesn't take up space. And don't give me this "interred" crap where they put you in a little glass box on a wall full of other ex-people in vases; we did that for my grandfather so my grandma would "have a place to go and be with him", and damned if she ever visited it after we put him in there.

If we're going with elaborate funerary plans, I'd like the aforementioned ashes to be incorporated into the making of special batch of glass (since that's basically silica and a combination of different kinds of ash to produce color), from which small charms or pendants could be made for my loved ones. But since that will probably be hideously expensive, if I happen to not leave behind enough money to cover that procedure, feel free to laugh and ignore the hideously self-absorbed notion.

Seriously, though. I'm gonna be dead. Do whatever you want, I won't care; but I swear on all that can be considered dear and sacred that I will lurch back to horrifying life and hunt you down and make you pay if you involve the church -- ANY CHURCH -- in any fucking way. Are you listening carefully? NO CHURCH SERVICE. This militant atheist will not thank you for it, nor will the people closest to her now, despite arguments that it would be "for the family". No. Fuck them. This is the one area where I'm going to be selfish about this. And don't try to sneak any clegry members into the party either to say a few words about how happy the decesed is now that she's seated at the right hand of The Lord. Because unless this God fellow has a really good sense of humor, I can guarantee that's not where I'll be.

[KLEIN]

You should marry claire too.

Have some polygamy going on. You dog you.

[Rory Storm]

Ehem, giving more thought into this matter, and assuming plan A does not work, or go according to plan, I have thought up something, a plan B if you will. It would be as if I had a family, as in, I change my mind about kids and wife. It is as follows: I die. I am dead, and people are, I guess, sad. I want all people motivated to attend to go to a party. Basically, I'm buried, and this party will be set a day or so after my funeral. It would be set out doors, in a field. A big field. Surrounded by trees. And it will be held at night. The party group will be centered around a giant 20 foot tall pile of wood. Set atop that pile of a wood, a wooden sculpture, of me:). Or, of course, price permiting, something of relation to my honor, a symbol of me. Then the guests arrive, when everyone is there that giant "funeral pyre" will be set on fire. There will be many types of food, song and dance. A celebration of me. There will, again, price permiting, be fire works. There will be mounds of food, gallons of drink. A great time shall be had by all. I would rather have a party, a huge party, like this, rather than some small thing in a church hall with horrible little sandwiches filled with "seafood salad" and "ham". I would rather have it so that people are happy. My people are happy. The people who care, I want them to be happy.

[implode]

You should marry claire too.

Have some polygamy going on. You dog you. on my island, <i>anything goes.</i>

[Zorkporker]

Ehem, giving more thought into this matter, and assuming plan A does not work, or go according to plan, I have thought up something, a plan B if you will. It would be as if I had a family, as in, I change my mind about kids and wife. It is as follows: I die. I am dead, and people are, I guess, sad. I want all people motivated to attend to go to a party. Basically, I'm buried, and this party will be set a day or so after my funeral. It would be set out doors, in a field. A big field. Surrounded by trees. And it will be held at night. The party group will be centered around a giant 20 foot tall pile of wood. Set atop that pile of a wood, a wooden sculpture, of me:). Or, of course, price permiting, something of relation to my honor, a symbol of me. Then the guests arrive, when everyone is there that giant "funeral pyre" will be set on fire. There will be many types of food, song and dance. A celebration of me. There will, again, price permiting, be fire works. There will be mounds of food, gallons of drink. A great time shall be had by all. I would rather have a party, a huge party, like this, rather than some small thing in a church hall with horrible little sandwiches filled with "seafood salad" and "ham". I would rather have it so that people are happy. My people are happy. The people who care, I want them to be happy.
I imagine it will go down sumthin' like this.:
http://www.r-ds.com/images/ImagesVerdi/cortege.jpg
Also implode ill probably die before considering my future prospects point to alcoholic serial murderer.

[KLEIN]

I believe I speak for everyone when I say, Damn. That shit is hot.


EDIT: GOD DAMN IT YOU FUCKER. I wasn't talking about Fucking Zorkporker. Stop spamming up the thread with your shit. That goes for Rory too. No one cares.

[deadish]

sounds like a PLAN mister implepants.
i will of course have to bring my various wives and husbands with me.


if i had the money i would do what marilyn manson talked of having at his funeral - an animatronic me to greet everyone and poison in the drinks.

[Rory Storm]

I imagine it will go down sumthin' like this.:
http://www.r-ds.com/images/ImagesVerdi/cortege.jpg
Also implode ill probably die before considering my future prospects point to alcoholic serial murderer.

There wouldn't be that many people. PLUS, I said FIELD, not middle of the street.:mad: Who want's a party in the middle of the street.

[Linzoy]

I haven't really given a lot of thought to what my funeral will be like or how they'll get rid of my body. I like the idea of having a speaker, like in ender's game and speaker of the dead. The speaker in those books would uncover all the secrets of the dead person's life and expose them. Everyone who knew them would be shocked at first, then happy to know all the little details so they could stop thinking about him. It doesn't sound very great the way I just described it, but trust me the book was better.

I want my body to be frozen and my blood replaced with salt water, like with those dogs. Then some historian or something can revive me in the future. That would only work if I'm killed by a disease instead of an accident or murder though.

One of the things I worry about, which is a really stupid thing to worry about but I worry about it anyway, is that I'm going to write some books or something and nobody will like them until after I'm dead. I'll be ahead of my time, but I won't know I'm any good because I'm dead. Basically I'm just hoping I can influence the world in some way, and if I can I won't be worried about not being able to live forever.

I have to edit this to add another stupid thing I've actually thought about sometimes: that my gravestone will look like all the other gravestones. If I have a gravestone I'm going to carve it myself and it will be in the shape of a dragon or something.

[steffi]

I want to be burried in either a traditional old school wooden coffin, or have my body in new orleans in one of those cool above ground ones.

[Neon Tears]

i want my body to be buried in the ground (no casket) six feet under, and then, maybe 2 or 3 feet above it, i want a tree to be planted. i want a tree DIRECTLY over my corpse. if i'm lucky, the roots will go through my corpse or wrap around it, and i'll like, be food for it.

[KLEIN]

One of the things I worry about... is that I'm going to write some books


You're a funny girl.

[deadish]

you're a horrible little thingie klein. i love you.

[töm]

i wrote about this about two months ago. i went down like this:

<i>Dear Death,

If my charred and broken corpse is still in a viable condition, I desire for any salvageable body parts to be put to good use. Especially for those in dire need of transplants and other life-saving medical procedures. I bequeath any organs, limbs, or skin that could be of assistance to those in need. And hair, too, if it hasn't all been burnt off. Thanks.

~

I desire no funeral. Just stick me where you can. A quick, budget cremation, with the appropriate blessings or voodoo from a nondenominational and Roman Catholic representative. For good luck. As far as I am concerned, funerals for a person such as myself are a waste of money, and I wish to burden no one with the sudden stress of arranging such a morbid tea party, participating in such services, or traveling to attend the aforementioned event. To my beloved family, please take the life insurance payments and have a blast.

I only wish for a certain amount of greeting cards to be mailed to an attached list of persons, if they are not deceased as well. They ought to remember me. I think it would be only polite to inform them of my departure from this world. The cards should be printed on plain white paper, with no brand label. Postage sans one cent should be printed directly onto the plain white envelope, with no stamps, save for one 1-cent stamp to make up the difference. They shall read:

<blockquote>Dearest (name of recipient),

Hi. This is Tom. Alas, I have died. Instead of leaving you in the dark, I thought that it would be nice to thank you for being such a positive influence in my life. It was wonderful to know you. I probably saw you whilst my life passed before my eyes. I'm sorry if I didn't think to say "hi."

So thanks again. You're wonderful. I have only the most fond of wishes for you. Perhaps we'll see one another some time. Hopefully not soon, though. Live. It's great, trust me.

There's no funeral or anything, and I've already taken up enough of your time. Enjoy yourself, please.

Thank you so much.

Tom</blockquote>


~

My goods shall be deligated appropriately to my closest family. I should hope they know how to share, so I'll say nothing more on this.


Love,
Tom</i>

[deadish]

your card text made me nearly cry. D:
you know - that warming of the eyelids that precedes chin quivering.

[implode]

Dearest (name of recipient),

Hi. This is Tom. Alas, I have died. Instead of leaving you in the dark, I thought that it would be nice to thank you for being such a positive influence in my life. It was wonderful to know you. I probably saw you whilst my life passed before my eyes. I'm sorry if I didn't think to say "hi."

So thanks again. You're wonderful. I have only the most fond of wishes for you. Perhaps we'll see one another some time. Hopefully not soon, though. Live. It's great, trust me.

There's no funeral or anything, and I've already taken up enough of your time. Enjoy yourself, please.

Thank you so much.

Tom i welled up, a bit.

race you to the afterlife.

EDIT: good to know i wasn't the only one.

[t3]

Ideally, I'd like scientists to experiment upon my brain (assuming it's salvagable) and try and make like a prototype bio-processor for the most kickass video game machine ever conceived, or something like that. I also wouldn't mind being turned into some kind of zombie cyborg, as long as I'm not expected to do manual labour. Fighting crime, sure, but I will not stand to exist as some kind of robo-butler or zombie field worker in Haiti or some crap like that for the rest of eternity (or until my fuel cells wear out, whichever comes first.). Simply won't have it.

As for the rest of my carcas, I would like it to be poked fulla' holes and thrown into a reef full of bull sharks, and maybe cause a kickass feeding frenzy. At least scaengers will have something to nibble on, and maybe some of my remains will wash up on a shore somewhere and traumatize some kids or something. Awesome.

More realistically, though, I'll just have my organs harvested for whatever lame non-cyborg experiment purposes there are available at the time, and my body will be disposed of in a manner that emphasizes common sense. Otheriwse, if my corpse is gonna be stuck into something costing multiple thousands of dollars only to be thrown away, it had better be loaded into the front of a race car and driven into a wall of barrels full of nitro glycrine. Again, my funeral ideas are completely awesome.

[Shaman King]

In honor of the person this thread is all about, I'm going to say I'll donate my brain to adrenochrome production, but I really have no idea what I want to do.

[Forever Finite]

my mom and i were talking about this the other day. we both prefer cremation, but i'd want to have my organs donated. (wait...i can't donate blood because i lived in europe for more than six months. are my organs unwanted?)

anyway, my mom weirded me out a little. she apparently wants me to give my friends (moosecon friends. seriously. like cory, mel, justin, shaun, etc.) little portions of her ashes to be distributed when they go home. like, all over the continent type thing. or for me to go on a road trip to visit them and let them fly off in the wind in various checkpoints.

my mom <i>honestly</i> loves rwam.

[implode]

just be sure not to die in america, i suppose.

aw. and rwam loves her, too. i'd do it. <small>maybe she loves it because it makes you happy? or maybe it reaffirmed her faith in random strangers? or maybe it's my cologne?</small>

[~V+]

I want a goats head put on my neck, and I want to be in a tuxedo, and I want to have like, servos and stuff attached to my arms and leg with some guy at a computer controlling my animatronic voice and limbs greeting the people.

[MST3Kakalina]

has anyone else ever considered how they'd like their final arrangements to be prepared?

well, i do want to be cremated.

Mecha would get first dibs on whatever was left of me, and he could do whatever he wanted with the dust: make diamonds/glass charms out of me, horde me until he died and have our stuffs mixed together, spread my bits in places where we had good times, etc. (though honestly i am quite afraid that he will be the one to die first.)

but the funeral itself? like deady's, a big new orleans type shindig. no one will be allowed to wear black and there should be a caterer providing the finest donuts, cheeses and fruits (and fruit drinks) for food. there should be a loud happy dixieland band, and the only sings i require are "when the saints go marchin' in" and "spirit in the sky."


and rwam loves your mom, finny. d'aww.

[exemplary citizen]

(though honestly i am quite afraid that he will be the one to die first.)
I have that worry too with my significant other. Male, six years older than me, and the men in his family have a bad run of luck when it comes to suddenly dropping dead of things like anyeurisms out of the blue. Barring unforseen accidents on my end, the statistics are in favor of him shuffling off first. I guess if I really think about it, it should be the last thing I worry about; enjoy now, because who knows, we might all erupt in a ball of flame tomorrow anyway, let alone sixty years from now. But at the same time, I have to wonder what I'm going to do with myself when I'm a little old lady, especially considering that I'm (almost definitely, unless we happen to adopt) not gonna be having kids around to take care of me. Aside from the obvious health care issues, there may very well not be anyone close enough to me when I get around to dying that would know or care about what I want done with my remains anyway.

[MST3Kakalina]

yeah, i can't see who would be around to support me in my old age, as i'm seriously not a big fan of squirting out babies.

and the age + family history of things like heart failure + smoking + women already living longer on average....yeah. yeah. ='(

[ln_e_is_1]

I want a party, and a pyre. I want music playing and people smoking hash and opium out of hookahs while a group of kids fondle eachother candy flipping in a giant cuddle puddle around the mound of burning wood where my corpse crackles and pops into the night. I want a celebration at my passing. My life has been fantastic so far, I'm living my fantasy; and I plan on continuing to do so.

[Mecha Wolf]

yeah, i can't see who would be around to support me in my old age, as i'm seriously not a big fan of squirting out babies.

and the age + family history of things like heart failure + smoking + women already living longer on average....yeah. yeah. ='(
Well, I just quit smoking and I have a family history of men living obscenely long, even when they smoke, drink and eat really shitty food. No history of heart failure at all, my dad had a heart attack because of how he lived (I've told you this many times). Sorry, I'm not excited about the prospect of living through your death, but it's quite likely to happen.
...oh, I think there's a family history of tight foreskin, maybe that's what you meant?


Anyway...
If cryogenics has advanced sufficiently, they can preserve my brain and harvest the rest of my body for spare parts for other people.
Everyone who knows me and wants to honour my memory can go to an amusement park and have fun, then maybe have a beer afterwards. I'm not paying, though. Cheap bastards.

[deadish]

my mum wants a viking send-off. y'know.. placing her body on a warship, setting it ablaze, then pushing it off for a grand final voyage.

'cept it'd cost WAYYY too much to go about doing that. but we can all dream eh?

[Retard Girl]

I hope to be a martyr when I die. Because I want a reason to die when I die.

As for how my body is to be taken care of, I would like a tombstone, but cremation is just so much more practical. I think whichever is cheapest. I don't want my family to spend a lot of money on a corpse.

[AngryGoatFace]

Yes, I am going to sell my body to science. $300 up front, and they take it when you die. Sounds promising, I'm going to do it that way.
<font face="trebuchet MS">hahaha. i just imagined them poking around inside my body:

doctor in training: um, sir? what are these things?
doctor teacher: why, they're, um...er...i...don't know...
maniac doctor: ooooh! it makes squishy noises when i poke it!
doctor teacher: i don't think that's supposed to be green.</font>

[AngryGoatFace]

Well, I just quit smoking and I have a family history of men living obscenely long, even when they smoke, drink and eat really shitty food. No history of heart failure at all, my dad had a heart attack because of how he lived (I've told you this many times). Sorry, I'm not excited about the prospect of living through your death, but it's quite likely to happen.
...oh, I think there's a family history of tight foreskin, maybe that's what you meant?


Anyway...
If cryogenics has advanced sufficiently, they can preserve my brain and harvest the rest of my body for spare parts for other people.
Everyone who knows me and wants to honour my memory can go to an amusement park and have fun, then maybe have a beer afterwards. I'm not paying, though. Cheap bastards.

<font face="trebuchet MS">it's <i>cryonics</i>, mecha, cryonics. cryogenics is a term to describe the study of how extreme cold can affect ANYTHING, whereas cryonics is the study of how organisms can be preserved for possible revival at a later time.

that aside:
my family has a history of low blood pressure, but we also have a history of altzheimers. oh well. hopefully i'll forget you guys soon enough.

'twas just a joke


<3</font>