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View Full Version : The incredible puking batboy.


Davey Rootbeer
08-26-2005, 07:20 AM
so, i'm flipping through the channels this morning, and i happen to turn to ESPN just as they're talking about yet another suspension.

"oh, someone got busted for steriods again", i think to myself.

Then i listen closely.

Turns out, all the ruckus is about a nameless Marlin's BATBOY, who was dared by a pitcher to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour, for 500 dollars.

YES, A GALLON OF MILK.

(he drank the milk, but couldn't keep it down- and the marlins had him suspended for 6 days. no one's sure yet whether it was for accepting the bet, or for puking afterwards.)

Now, normally, something like this would just go by in passing without even being mentioned. But, the pitcher who offered this was rather upset about the whole deal, and went public with it, berating the team for doing such.

Somewhere in Fort Meyers, the son of Bill Veek (nortorious for being the finest promoter in the early history of baseball..he was truly ahead of his time in attracting audiences, providing promotions, and sending a midget up to the plate during the 1944 season when he owned the St. Lous Browns. The midget took 4 balls, walked, and was replaced by a pinch-runner.) saw an opportunity to continue the family history of playing into the fans, and sent down word to the manager of the Minnetota Twins' affiliate out of Ft. meyers to go on the air (on ESPN, no less) with an attempt to contact this batboy and "hire him", as well as tie in a numerous amount of promotions to the event.


Single-A team wants to hire Marlins' `suspended' batboy

BY CLARK SPENCER

Knight Ridder Newspapers

MILWAUKEE - (KRT) - A minor-league baseball team is hopping on the milk wagon.

The Fort Myers Miracle of the Single A Florida State League is trying to locate the unidentified batboy who was suspended by the Marlins and put him back to work.

``Similar to a rehab stint, we want to help this kid stay on top of his game,'' Miracle general manager Steve Gliner said. ``Instead of crying over spilled milk, we decided to offer him the honorary post.''

The Marlins suspended the batboy after finding out he had accepted a dare from Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny - with a $500 reward attached - to drink a gallon of milk in less than an hour without throwing up. The batboy drank the gallon, but he couldn't hold it down.

The batboy was suspended for the upcoming homestand at Dolphins Stadium that runs from Monday through Sept. 4

The Miracle, an affiliate of the Minnesota Twins, wants to have him pick up their bats during Monday's game against the Tampa Yankees in Fort Myers.

As part of the promotion, all children 14 and under will receive a pint of milk when entering the stadium, a cow will be stationed at the front gates, and empty milk cartons will be placed throughout the stadium so fans can make monetary donations to the batboy.

The Miracle is owned by a group that includes Mike Veeck, actor Bill Murray and musician Jimmy Buffett.

ESPN.com reported that the Milk Processor Education Program offered the batboy $500 and any lost wages from the suspension if he promises to drink the recommended three glasses of milk a day.

In addition, Penny, who was angered by the suspension, told The Miami Herald on Thursday that he intends to compensate the batboy.

Promotions galore!

it's not so much as to help the batboy, but to generate publicity for the teams, the players, and the people involved.



so , in the end?

Brilliant PR for an unheard-of-until-now-pretty-much minor league team, and bad PR for the Marlins, who are in the thick of a 6-team wild-card race in the NL east.

no one's going to reply to this thread, but if they did, i would be happy and thankful. In any such case, the punishment for steriod use at a major league level is a 10-game suspension, while puking up a gallon of milk is only 3/5 as bad.

Stuart Tusspot
08-26-2005, 08:24 AM
Wow people are either really desperate for cash or they are just stupid.

implode
08-26-2005, 08:34 AM
that's the most embarassingly ridiculous baseball story since kenny rogers decked a cameraman and was sneezed on by the MLB in retaliation.

major league baseball... what's the PROBLEM with these people? who is in charge of doling out these punishments, and why haven't they been fired and replaced with interim badgers until a more logical group of judges can be extradited from cuban prisons? i have never, never, NEVER once listened to a verdict come down from a team of major league baseball judges and thought "oh, well, that's fair." the punishments are either laughably timid or else they're.. well... this. someone gets caught corking the bat - oh, that'll just be a ten game suspension, WITH PAY, don't anyone fret, justice is being served. but a batboy DARES to drink more milk before a game than he usually does? oh, no. we're not going to stand for this. get bud on the line, we need to make an example of someone before this gets out of hand.

this is a game where people dress up in fuzzy green monster costumes and dance around so spectators can punch them, and they're saying that drinking milk is a punishable offense? how much more ridiculous can you get without switching batting helmets with party hats? i mean, is he in trouble for drinking the milk, or accepting the bet? or puking on the field? i mean, if it's for taking the bet, you'd have to assume that penny would be in an equal amount of trouble, and apparently he isn't, so it has to be that the kid has a weak stomach. which, while perhaps being an undesireable trait in the party circuit, isn't really a crime that's effecting any aspect of the game beyond the morale of the groundskeepers. silly silly silly.

and the PR stunt is equally dumb, imho. how desperate for attendance can you be when a vomiting kid becomes your new mascot? might as well rename the team to the fort myers hangovers and change the name of the stadium to "the porcelain goddess."